I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for the past five months. The main reason is because my wife and I were in the throes of assisting our fathers navigate the final chapters of their respective lives. I didn’t have the energy, focus or inclination to blog or do much of anything else, for that matter. But that’s a subject for future musings.
In my previous post, Performance Anxiety: Understanding the Root of the Problem – Part One, I shared my perspective on the root cause of the problem and introduced the concepts of the “Voice Inside Your Head” (VIYH) as the problem and becoming the dispassionate observer or witness as the solution (read Part One to get up to speed). In Part Two, I will share some specific things you can do, techniques, if you will, to help you achieve a quiet mind and overcome performance anxiety. Here we go…
Stream of Consciousness Journaling: This is the ultimate “to do” list. With pen and paper in hand, write down every thought (voice) in your head. Include everything you need to get done, everything that is bothering you, fears and worries, regrets, hopes and wishes—everything. Dump the entire contents of your head onto the paper. Keep journaling until you can’t think of anything else (now there’s a concept). This has the effect of clearing out your mental closet, allowing you to intuitively connect to your natural gifts and creativity.
Brain Gym Exercises: These exercises will help you get mentally “unstuck” and change the habitual patterns by which your brain tends to function. They are designed to assist the development of your whole brain.
- “Cross Crawl” Stand or sit in a comfortable position. Put the right hand across the body to the left knee as you raise it, and then do the same thing for the left hand on the right knee as if you were marching. Do this for at least 2 minutes at a time.
- “Hook Ups” Stand or sit. Cross the right leg over the left at the ankles. Take your right wrist and cross it over the left wrist and link up the fingers so that the right wrist is on top. Bend the elbows out and gently turn the fingers in towards the body until they rest on the sternum (breast bone) in the center of the chest. Stay in this position. Keep the ankles crossed and the wrists crossed and then breathe evenly in this position for a few minutes. You will be noticeably calmer after that time. This video may provide a visual aide.
- “Lazy 8’s” With a pen and paper, using first your dominant, then your non-dominant hand, draw the infinity sign (the number eight lying on its side) for 1-2 minutes daily.
- “Rhythmic Eights” An alternative to #3 that doesn’t require pen and paper is Rhythmic Eights. Also derived from kinesiology principles of rhythmic movement, Rhythmic Eights consists of clasping your hands together, fingers and thumbs interlaced, then “drawing” figures of eights in the air for up to a minute each day or whenever needed to quiet the mind.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT): Utilizing the meridians on which Chinese Acupuncture is based (without the needles), EFT addresses issues such as performance anxiety at the emotional level by stimulating specific meridian points by tapping on them with our fingertips, often in conjunction with self-affirming proclamations. Check out this introductory video:
I suggest you also check out this EFT technique for clearing the Chakras, a techique that can be especially effective when done prior to a performance or speaking engagement.
So now you have some specific techniques for eliminating your performance anxiety. I hope you will take the time to try them out to see which ones are the best fit for you in your daily practice. I also hope you will share your personal experiences, feedback and success stories with me via your comments to this post. Perhaps you have discovered some other techniques that have worked for you. Please share them here as well.
Until next time… Get it real and keep it real.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Ad Hoc, Health Realization, Music by on Apr 15th, 2010. Comment. 
Who out there hasn’t suffered from a bad case of performance anxiety? I’m not talking about that which goes on between the sheets in the privacy of one’s own home. I’m referring to the shaky, dry mouth, clammy-to-sweaty, nauseating, pit-in-the belly, potentially vasovagal, sometimes immobilizing and always highly uncomfortable state of being that is induced whenever one has to perform in front of other people.
Stage fright, fear of public speaking, Glossophobia—whatever you choose to call it; it’s a very real problem. Research shows that fear of public speaking is the number one common phobia on the planet. We fear performing in front of an audience more than we fear dying. Three out of every four of us suffers from performance anxiety.
So what is the root of this problem? Are we just so inherently flawed that we can never hope to overcome it? Though we may be inherently flawed as a species—I prefer to think we are perfectly imperfect—there is, indeed, hope of overcoming performance anxiety. Understanding the root cause (not just the physical symptoms) is the first order of business.
Each of us possesses a component of our psyche that acts as a constant companion. For sake of discussion, we’ll call it the “Voice Inside Your Head” or VIYH, for short. Chances are, as you’re reading this right now your thinking, “What’s he talking about? Is he suggesting I’m hearing voices—that I’m crazy?” Well, I’m not about to pass judgement on your sanity, but that voice asking the questions is the voice to which I’m referring.
The VIYH is the most demanding and attention-craving entity with which we ever have to deal—there’s not even a close second. It shares our birthday and develops inextricably with us as a result of the accumulative programming and conditioning we endure over the course of our lives. It is the palette with which the canvas of our belief system is painted. Though the VIYH is always with us, most of us have never taken the time to get to know it. It’s masterful at keeping us enmeshed with it, making it difficult to see through objective eyes. Difficult, but not impossible. The good news is, we are fully capable of stepping back and observing our VIYH. In order to understand why we are so phobic about performing in public, it’s essential that we do just that—step back and observe.
As we become the observer, we develop the ability to distinguish the VIYH from ourselves. The more practiced we are at being aware of the VIYH talking—whether its voice is loud or soft, its message positive or negative, the more intuitive we become in effectively quieting that voice. Quieting that voice leads to a calm mind, and… ladies and gentlemen (cue drum roll); a calm mind is the secret to overcoming performance anxiety.
In contrast, traditional thinking tells us that performance anxiety is actually a positive, useful tool and critical to optimizing one’s performance—that anxiety can be controlled by utilizing techniques such as deep breathing, positive self-talk and even visualizing the nervous energy leaving the body via the extremities. While these techniques may be helpful for some in certain instances, the question to ask yourself is, What would it look and feel like to eliminate the anxiety altogether? That is to ask, What does a calm mind look and feel like, and how does one get there?
That question, combined with a personal passion for helping artists of all stripes develop a deeper connection with their natural gifts is the inspiration and basis for the launching of Training Intuitive Performers or TIP. TIP is a collaborative effort between yours truly and Cindi Claypatch. It’s an experiential learning course specifically designed for arts educators, stage performers and those who collaborate with them (the technical and artistic folks behind the scenes). It’s based on the Three Principles of Health Realization. This is the stuff, folks, that changes lives—from the inside out.
Part two of this series offers a closer look at some of the techniques one can utilize to achieve a calm mind and eliminate performance anxiety. Stay tuned.
Until next time… Get it real and Keep it real.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Health Realization by on Nov 17th, 2009. 1 Comment.
My wife just turned 60 last week (of course she doesn’t look a day over 59). I had spent the better part of the previous month or so planning a celebratory event worthy of this milestone. She is a songwriter with an amazing body of work produced over several decades of collaboration with writing partners and visits from her muse in the wee hours.
So, inspired by the legendary Ralph Edwards (Boomers, you know who he is), armed with an arsenal of unbelievably talented friends and family, I set out to create a fitting tribute to my sweetie’s first 60 years on this mortal plane. It would be along the lines of This is Your Life meets VH1’s Behind the Music as told through a live concert event with surprise guest performances of my wife’s music, lyrics and comedy schtick, by our generous and gifted friends and family members—who just happen to be world-class musicians and actors.
Long story short, the event took place this past Sunday, August 9th. It was an unforgettable, life-changing experience for everyone involved. I’m sharing it here for all to read because it’s a perfect example of how little things inspire us in very big ways when we choose to live Life in the present moment.
While putting this whole thing together, I made a very conscious effort to be present every step of the way. Connecting to my core health, as I am learning to do via my practice of Health Realization, allowed me to experience huge amounts of cathartic emotions: joy, sorrow, surprise, gratitude and love. There was also some regret, but much more hope and optimism. I can say, it just felt so good to feel. I am rejuvenated by the whole experience. It’s like a love hangover, baby—a supernatural high!
The important takeaway here is the carryover effect. It’s sort of like living the Mastercard TV ads only better, because it’s not about material things—it’s about soul food.
And living Life in the present moment has a snowball effect. The more you do it, the more the light of inspiration shines on you. I find myself often immersed in gracefulness. Observing our 22 year old Siamese cat Mooner age with grace and dignity—living life to the fullest—one day, one moment at a time is one example.
Then there’s my 94 year old father-in-law Joe, still running his geodesic dome business with all his radical, political passion for justice and fairness, mustering just enough vitality to see him through the moment—what more does he need?
We all have these inspirational sources in our lives. They need not be celebrities. They only need our focused attention. They are our friends, family members, coworkers, pets, flowers, plants, trees, rivers, lakes, oceans, mountains and sky. They ebb and flow, rise and shine, move and groove or remain perfectly motionless so we can contemplate their beauty and pure essence.
The best news is that each of us has the capacity to experience this. It’s in our core DNA, so-to-speak. It requires a bit of personal awareness and focus on what we can do rather than focusing on our limitations. In the words of the great Kabbalist Yehuda Berg, “You can always find a reason to complain. Finding a reason to be happy is your spiritual work. Today, focus on the best part of your life. Yes, you do have plenty to worry about, I get it, however, the highest level of restriction is your mind—so focus on the good and don’t leave the lesser any room at all!”
Until next time… Get it real and Keep it real.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Ad Hoc, Baby Boomer, Health Realization by on Aug 13th, 2009. Comment.
Interview with Jessica E. Schmiesing: A Human Resources Perspective – Part Two | richard s. grossman
In the interest of bringing some different perspective to the conversation, I recently interviewed a couple of Human Resources professionals representing contrasting generations. The topic is workforce trends. Previously, I posted an interview with Jessica Treft, a Human Resources Coordinator in Minneapolis. Following is part two in the series—an interview with Jessica E. Schmiesing, Vice President of Human Resources and Organizational Effectiveness for Planned Parenthood Minnesota, North and South Dakota. Jessica shares some of her insights and observations on the topic at hand from the “Generation X” perspective.
As a Human Resources executive who also happens to fall within the Generation X demographic (children of the mid 60s to the late 70s), can you share your personal experience and insight relative to workplace productivity and performance ?
I was fortunate to have been brought up by a working mother who saw the pressures on women to “do it all”. You know the old cliché, “You can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan.” To watch the pressure that put on someone trying to manage a career, a family and herself as a person while attempting to maintain some sort of balance—that was very interesting to see.
I think I grew up at a really great time when you could learn the lessons of your forefathers who gave everything they had to their employers. The loyalty that my family put into the organizations they worked for was not reciprocated because of the fast-changing environment in the world. I learned you always have to think about what skills you will develop. I’ll give everything to my employer, but I’m also going to make sure I develop myself and gain every opportunity I have while I’m working there because that’s going to help me if I choose to move on or if I’m asked to move on. That’s just how it is.
Given the obvious demise of anything resembling “job security”, what do you see as the primary employee engagement drivers ?
Employers want employees to share more of the burden—more of that risk they assume through variable pay plans, portable pension plans, or not having pensions plans. Yet employees for the most part are not finding that a rewarding mix. That’s not what they want. Most people would rate stability as the number one satisfier, but not many employers can offer that anymore. So I think for people who are willing to take some chances and some risks, the sky’s the limit right now.
People who really want that stability and just want to go to work and do their job then leave, they’re going to find that their opportunities are really limited. That’s something I’ve watched 50+ employees really struggle with. They’ve been loyal and want something in return for that, but if they haven’t taken the risks—put themselves out on a limb for development opportunities and taken on challenges in the organization, they’re not getting rewarded just for their tenure anymore. That’s the mindset they grew up with and that was the equation, so it’s really tough to watch that happen.
Is that a scenario affecting only mature workers?
I think the entitlement and expectations are there for mature workers, but what I also see in younger workers is, not necessarily an entitlement mentality, but for every extra effort they put in—every extra project; if they stretch themselves in their roles, there’s an expectation of a promotion or compensation. That’s where you see this interesting mix of a willingness to take more risks and try to be involved in projects that nobody has tried before—that don’t have much definition, but if there isn’t a “quid pro quo” they’re more dissatisfied.
I also think schools have done a much better job of educating people about leadership and management, so they have much higher expectation in terms of ethics and values from their leaders and managers. If they don’t see that in an organization, they have no qualms about moving on to the next one. Younger workers are much more willing to ask for what they need than are mature workers.
Why do you think many employers are reluctant to hire mature workers?
I’m having a really difficult time understanding why some employers are hesitant to hire employees who are fifty years or older. All the research demonstrates they tend to be more loyal, have less absenteeism, less tardiness issues and are more dependable. All the research shows that, my experience shows that and yet I know a lot of 50+ workers who are terrified to leave their employer. So in a lot of cases they stay where they’re at, even if they’re unhappy, because they don’t think another opportunity is going to be out there for them due to age discrimination.
To what do you attribute that? Is the media feeding the perception with all the news of gloom and doom?
I think a lot of it is out there in the media, but I do think the reality is, it probably is more challenging for baby boomers. We have to be better at training HR people to not just look for candidates that are going to stay in a position for at least 5-7 years. My advise is not to make those decisions based on a long-term relationship. Anticipate you’re going to get 2-3 years from somebody—what does that relationship look like. If you get longer, that’s great. You don’t want to assume that person is going to want to be there for their whole career, because you then make very different employment decisions.
In your experience, are there ways in which the recruitment process itself, either by flawed design or due to human nature, inherently contributes to age discrimination?
Often times, recruitment is the first position somebody has in their entre into the HR world. So a lot of recruiters are younger and inexperienced. Many organizations don’t have very sophisticated Human Resources professionals. They’ve taken people who have worked in other parts of the organization in this assumption that anybody can be in HR. Unless you have somebody who has a strong history and experience level in understanding the key drivers of success in a position, how to measure those in an interview process and how to align behavior, skills and talents to the requirements of the position, you can run into a lot of issues. With a lot of recruiters—like most people, you end up having an affinity for people who are more like you. So if you look at the average age of recruiters, they’ may tend to look more favorably at candidates who are more like them in terms of attitude, preferences, age, etc.
Do you see organizations being able to evolve from the need to operate from a broad generalization HR philosophy in our lifetime?
In our lifetime; I’m not sure. I have a nineteen year old niece who is going to school to become an environmental architect—green all the way—doesn’t like big buildings; she’s very passionate about what she does. It’s so fun to see her generation because color and socio-economic differences aren’t things they tend to recognize. They don’t bring them in when they’re dealing with people. The world they grew up in was so diverse and so fast-moving, the boundaries and conformities we’ve had to live with are going to be shattered, at least somewhat.
Witness the election of President Obama?
Yeah! But then you look at it and ask, Can the world thrive on chaos? It can’t. I really think the world operates on that 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of what happens to us—we have to have some predictability—we have to organize and control it to some degree because most of us don’t thrive in chaos very well.
So where does that lead us in the future? I think the generalities that exist and the assumptions we make about the generations, I don’t know that that’s going to go away in the next 10-15 years. How we get through this recession will be very telling in terms of what gets learned in the workforce. I ‘m hoping that Baby Boomers will gain a new-found respect in the workplace.
Jessica E. Schmiesing has more than 20 years experience in Human Resources in both the non-profit and for-profit sectors. She earned her Master of Arts and Intercultural Relations degree from the University of Minnesota.
Until next time… Get it real and Keep it real.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Baby Boomer by on Jul 28th, 2009. Comment.
In the interest of bringing some different perspective to the conversation, I recently interviewed a couple of Human Resources professionals representing contrasting generations. The topic is workforce trends. First up is Jessica Treft, who is a Human Resources Coordinator in Minneapolis specializing in on-boarding, organizational development and team-building. In this interview, Jessica shares some of her insights and observations on the topic at hand from the “millennial” perspective.
As a Human Resources professional who also happens to fall within the Generation Y demographic (children of the 80s), can you share your personal experience and insight relative to the productivity and performance of baby boomers (50+) in the workplace?
Baby boomers have different work ethics than Gen Y’ers. Boomers take on assigned tasks and just take off, get them done and report back. They give you exactly what you asked for.
How does that contrast with Gen Y workers?
Gen Y’ers will give you what you asked for plus four alternatives from which to choose. They want to be included in the bigger picture from the beginning. They are collaborators in the truest sense of the word. They want to demonstrate they’re capable of taking on more and will throw all their ideas out there to see what sticks. They want to be perceived as “Superstars”.
Interestingly, Gen Y’ers are more persistent in their pursuit of positions than are baby boomers—to the point of being a nuisance. Then there are the “helicopter” parents who literally hover around on their child’s behalf. I’ve fielded calls on numerous occasions from parents of candidates who expect a status report on the hiring process. Needless to say, that leads to immediate disqualification of that candidate! I can only hope these parents learn their lesson after the first time.
What are the advantages of hiring workers who are 50+? The disadvantages?
Mature workers have more developed soft skills, which is a big advantage. They don’t need much, if any hand-holding. They also have more refined written and verbal communication skills.. They can be more rigid and set in their ways than younger workers and less inclined to share and collaborate, though I consider that more of a hurdle than a disadvantage.
On the other hand, Gen Y’ers, while very adept at new technologies, need help with the “heavy lifting” stuff such as scanners, copiers and faxes. They often need to be shown two-three times how to operate these typical office machines.
Suffice to say, there are inter-generational factors at play in the workplace that present challenges to managers.
In your opinion, is it more or less challenging for mature workers to find meaningful employment in this economy? Why?
From what I’ve seen, it is a bigger challenge for mature workers. They are being asked to take on more responsibilities for the same or even less pay. That has to be a difficult adjustment. At the same time, during this current recession, layoffs have been fairly evenly split between boomers and Gen Y’ers. There are a lot of mature workers who have been laid off only to see their jobs posted a few weeks later at much lower salaries.
There are two completely different mind sets at work here. Gen Y’ers are changing jobs every year or two anyway, so they have an easier transition—they’re already in that mindset.
What industries or tracks do you see offering the greatest opportunities for baby boomers right now? In five years?
For baby boomers, I think there are more entrepreneurial opportunities right now and for the next five years. Many new grads are delaying their entry into the workforce by staying in school and getting advanced degrees, hoping the job climate will improve over the next few years.
Jessica Treft has successfully transitioned in her career from the music industry to the more stable field of Human Resources Management. In that time she’s experienced the inner-workings of both for-profit corporations as well as not-for-profit organizations. She is passionate about lifelong learning and the pursuit of personal and professional development.
Until next time… Get it real and Keep it real.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Baby Boomer by on Jul 10th, 2009. 2 Comments.
