I’ve been absent from the blogosphere for the past five months. The main reason is because my wife and I were in the throes of assisting our fathers navigate the final chapters of their respective lives. I didn’t have the energy, focus or inclination to blog or do much of anything else, for that matter. But that’s a subject for future musings.
In my previous post, Performance Anxiety: Understanding the Root of the Problem – Part One, I shared my perspective on the root cause of the problem and introduced the concepts of the “Voice Inside Your Head” (VIYH) as the problem and becoming the dispassionate observer or witness as the solution (read Part One to get up to speed). In Part Two, I will share some specific things you can do, techniques, if you will, to help you achieve a quiet mind and overcome performance anxiety. Here we go…
Stream of Consciousness Journaling: This is the ultimate “to do” list. With pen and paper in hand, write down every thought (voice) in your head. Include everything you need to get done, everything that is bothering you, fears and worries, regrets, hopes and wishes—everything. Dump the entire contents of your head onto the paper. Keep journaling until you can’t think of anything else (now there’s a concept). This has the effect of clearing out your mental closet, allowing you to intuitively connect to your natural gifts and creativity.
Brain Gym Exercises: These exercises will help you get mentally “unstuck” and change the habitual patterns by which your brain tends to function. They are designed to assist the development of your whole brain.
- “Cross Crawl” Stand or sit in a comfortable position. Put the right hand across the body to the left knee as you raise it, and then do the same thing for the left hand on the right knee as if you were marching. Do this for at least 2 minutes at a time.
- “Hook Ups” Stand or sit. Cross the right leg over the left at the ankles. Take your right wrist and cross it over the left wrist and link up the fingers so that the right wrist is on top. Bend the elbows out and gently turn the fingers in towards the body until they rest on the sternum (breast bone) in the center of the chest. Stay in this position. Keep the ankles crossed and the wrists crossed and then breathe evenly in this position for a few minutes. You will be noticeably calmer after that time. This video may provide a visual aide.
- “Lazy 8’s” With a pen and paper, using first your dominant, then your non-dominant hand, draw the infinity sign (the number eight lying on its side) for 1-2 minutes daily.
- “Rhythmic Eights” An alternative to #3 that doesn’t require pen and paper is Rhythmic Eights. Also derived from kinesiology principles of rhythmic movement, Rhythmic Eights consists of clasping your hands together, fingers and thumbs interlaced, then “drawing” figures of eights in the air for up to a minute each day or whenever needed to quiet the mind.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT): Utilizing the meridians on which Chinese Acupuncture is based (without the needles), EFT addresses issues such as performance anxiety at the emotional level by stimulating specific meridian points by tapping on them with our fingertips, often in conjunction with self-affirming proclamations. Check out this introductory video:
I suggest you also check out this EFT technique for clearing the Chakras, a techique that can be especially effective when done prior to a performance or speaking engagement.
So now you have some specific techniques for eliminating your performance anxiety. I hope you will take the time to try them out to see which ones are the best fit for you in your daily practice. I also hope you will share your personal experiences, feedback and success stories with me via your comments to this post. Perhaps you have discovered some other techniques that have worked for you. Please share them here as well.
Until next time… Get it real and keep it real.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Ad Hoc, Health Realization, Music by on Apr 15th, 2010. Comment. 
Interview with Jessica E. Schmiesing: A Human Resources Perspective – Part Two | richard s. grossman
In the interest of bringing some different perspective to the conversation, I recently interviewed a couple of Human Resources professionals representing contrasting generations. The topic is workforce trends. Previously, I posted an interview with Jessica Treft, a Human Resources Coordinator in Minneapolis. Following is part two in the series—an interview with Jessica E. Schmiesing, Vice President of Human Resources and Organizational Effectiveness for Planned Parenthood Minnesota, North and South Dakota. Jessica shares some of her insights and observations on the topic at hand from the “Generation X” perspective.
As a Human Resources executive who also happens to fall within the Generation X demographic (children of the mid 60s to the late 70s), can you share your personal experience and insight relative to workplace productivity and performance ?
I was fortunate to have been brought up by a working mother who saw the pressures on women to “do it all”. You know the old cliché, “You can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan.” To watch the pressure that put on someone trying to manage a career, a family and herself as a person while attempting to maintain some sort of balance—that was very interesting to see.
I think I grew up at a really great time when you could learn the lessons of your forefathers who gave everything they had to their employers. The loyalty that my family put into the organizations they worked for was not reciprocated because of the fast-changing environment in the world. I learned you always have to think about what skills you will develop. I’ll give everything to my employer, but I’m also going to make sure I develop myself and gain every opportunity I have while I’m working there because that’s going to help me if I choose to move on or if I’m asked to move on. That’s just how it is.
Given the obvious demise of anything resembling “job security”, what do you see as the primary employee engagement drivers ?
Employers want employees to share more of the burden—more of that risk they assume through variable pay plans, portable pension plans, or not having pensions plans. Yet employees for the most part are not finding that a rewarding mix. That’s not what they want. Most people would rate stability as the number one satisfier, but not many employers can offer that anymore. So I think for people who are willing to take some chances and some risks, the sky’s the limit right now.
People who really want that stability and just want to go to work and do their job then leave, they’re going to find that their opportunities are really limited. That’s something I’ve watched 50+ employees really struggle with. They’ve been loyal and want something in return for that, but if they haven’t taken the risks—put themselves out on a limb for development opportunities and taken on challenges in the organization, they’re not getting rewarded just for their tenure anymore. That’s the mindset they grew up with and that was the equation, so it’s really tough to watch that happen.
Is that a scenario affecting only mature workers?
I think the entitlement and expectations are there for mature workers, but what I also see in younger workers is, not necessarily an entitlement mentality, but for every extra effort they put in—every extra project; if they stretch themselves in their roles, there’s an expectation of a promotion or compensation. That’s where you see this interesting mix of a willingness to take more risks and try to be involved in projects that nobody has tried before—that don’t have much definition, but if there isn’t a “quid pro quo” they’re more dissatisfied.
I also think schools have done a much better job of educating people about leadership and management, so they have much higher expectation in terms of ethics and values from their leaders and managers. If they don’t see that in an organization, they have no qualms about moving on to the next one. Younger workers are much more willing to ask for what they need than are mature workers.
Why do you think many employers are reluctant to hire mature workers?
I’m having a really difficult time understanding why some employers are hesitant to hire employees who are fifty years or older. All the research demonstrates they tend to be more loyal, have less absenteeism, less tardiness issues and are more dependable. All the research shows that, my experience shows that and yet I know a lot of 50+ workers who are terrified to leave their employer. So in a lot of cases they stay where they’re at, even if they’re unhappy, because they don’t think another opportunity is going to be out there for them due to age discrimination.
To what do you attribute that? Is the media feeding the perception with all the news of gloom and doom?
I think a lot of it is out there in the media, but I do think the reality is, it probably is more challenging for baby boomers. We have to be better at training HR people to not just look for candidates that are going to stay in a position for at least 5-7 years. My advise is not to make those decisions based on a long-term relationship. Anticipate you’re going to get 2-3 years from somebody—what does that relationship look like. If you get longer, that’s great. You don’t want to assume that person is going to want to be there for their whole career, because you then make very different employment decisions.
In your experience, are there ways in which the recruitment process itself, either by flawed design or due to human nature, inherently contributes to age discrimination?
Often times, recruitment is the first position somebody has in their entre into the HR world. So a lot of recruiters are younger and inexperienced. Many organizations don’t have very sophisticated Human Resources professionals. They’ve taken people who have worked in other parts of the organization in this assumption that anybody can be in HR. Unless you have somebody who has a strong history and experience level in understanding the key drivers of success in a position, how to measure those in an interview process and how to align behavior, skills and talents to the requirements of the position, you can run into a lot of issues. With a lot of recruiters—like most people, you end up having an affinity for people who are more like you. So if you look at the average age of recruiters, they’ may tend to look more favorably at candidates who are more like them in terms of attitude, preferences, age, etc.
Do you see organizations being able to evolve from the need to operate from a broad generalization HR philosophy in our lifetime?
In our lifetime; I’m not sure. I have a nineteen year old niece who is going to school to become an environmental architect—green all the way—doesn’t like big buildings; she’s very passionate about what she does. It’s so fun to see her generation because color and socio-economic differences aren’t things they tend to recognize. They don’t bring them in when they’re dealing with people. The world they grew up in was so diverse and so fast-moving, the boundaries and conformities we’ve had to live with are going to be shattered, at least somewhat.
Witness the election of President Obama?
Yeah! But then you look at it and ask, Can the world thrive on chaos? It can’t. I really think the world operates on that 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of what happens to us—we have to have some predictability—we have to organize and control it to some degree because most of us don’t thrive in chaos very well.
So where does that lead us in the future? I think the generalities that exist and the assumptions we make about the generations, I don’t know that that’s going to go away in the next 10-15 years. How we get through this recession will be very telling in terms of what gets learned in the workforce. I ‘m hoping that Baby Boomers will gain a new-found respect in the workplace.
Jessica E. Schmiesing has more than 20 years experience in Human Resources in both the non-profit and for-profit sectors. She earned her Master of Arts and Intercultural Relations degree from the University of Minnesota.
Until next time… Get it real and Keep it real.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Baby Boomer by on Jul 28th, 2009. Comment.
In my previous post I shared my recent discovery of the 3 Principles of Understanding as a means of connecting to the core health that is innate in all of us. Today I’d like to share 5 ways to calm your mind that have proven successful for me and many others. I find it beneficial to vary my routine to prevent getting bored, which can lead to lack of motivation. The key is to create time and space for these activities, however it may best integrate into your daily life.
1. Meditate: This doesn’t have to involve anything formal, though a mantra is a very useful meditation tool. Really, any form of deep, rhythmical relaxation breathing from the diaphragm will do the trick. Make sure you can visualize (literally and figuratively) the outward expansion of your diaphragm on the inhalation and the opposite deflation of the diaphragm on the exhalation—like an accordion. You shouldn’t need a dedicated physical space for your meditation, but it certainly is helpful to have a quiet, comfortable spot. With practice, you will be able to effectively quiet your mind no matter where your body is.
2. Take a Nature Break: Get outside and breathe some fresh air for at least 20 minutes. I mean, really suck that stuff into your lungs and let it out slowly. I know it can be hard to motivate yourself—call a friend or family member if it helps (keep the conversation light and breezy or you’re defeating the purpose). For me, I get the greatest benefit from walking or biking in the woods or near water. I’m fortunate to live in an area with hundreds of acres of heavily-wooded county parkland within a stone’s throw. Be resourceful. Google nature trails and parks in your local area and try to break up your routine by going to different spots to keep it fresh. As with any of these activities, with practice, you’ll find it’s like a walk in the park.
3. Play or Listen to Music: This is one that many of us do subconsciously to relax as part of our social conditioning. If you don’t play an instrument but would like to incorporate one into your practice, I recommend getting a hand drum (some form of ethnic percussion like a Djembe or Dumbek). Remove any jewelry from your hands and arms, take several deep breaths and begin to slap, stroke, shake or beat. Try starting out at a slow tempo and tune-in to your center. It will dictate the pattern it needs you to play to synchronize your mind and body. Once you feel you have the hang of it, you can explore participating in a drum circle as an option.
You need not play an instrument at all. Most people appreciate the way just listening to relaxing music with eyes closed can induce a deep state of calm. Go online or to your favorite retail store and invest some time previewing what’s available in the “Relaxation” genre. There’s some truly wonderful stuff out there. Here’s a couple of sources to get you going: brucekurnow.com (requires iTunes) innerpeacemusic.com
4. Apply Shiatsu Self-Massage: If you’re unfamiliar with Shiatsu, very briefly, Shiatsu is an ancient Japanese healing method based on the pressure point and energy meridian philosophy of Chinese Acupuncture. Shiatsu helps to balance a persons energy flow, and strengthen the vital organs. It’s especially suitable for self-application and can be practiced literally anywhere. For example, there are specific pressure points on the bottom of the feet that correspond to tension. Applying the correct Shiatsu technique to these points causes a feeling of relaxation and calm that is often quite dramatic. If you haven’t already done so, give it a try. You can experience immediate results if done correctly. 
Shiatsu Self-Massage - Source: pedagonet.com
5. Journal: The key to journalling in order to calm the mind is to write whatever comes into your mind—literally in stream-of-conscious fashion. I have found it ineffective and counter to the purpose when I try to analyze the content while I’m writing it. Amazingly, when I just let it flow onto the paper, I come away from the exercise with a profound feeling of ease and lightness. It’s as if I’ve transfered all the thoughts from my head to the paper, which, come to think of it, is essentially what the exercise entails. Get out your paper and pen, take a few deep breaths, connect with your right brain and just let it go until the words stop on their own.
That’s my list of top 5 ways to calm your mind and bring more light in to your daily life. I’d love to hear your thoughts and personal experiences related to the subject as well as suggestions to add to the list.
Remember, practice makes perfect—or at least perfect imperfection! It’s not about getting it right, it’s about getting and keeping it REAL. Until next time…
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Health Realization, Music by on Jun 13th, 2009. 2 Comments.
I think I may be on to something here; or maybe I’m just on something. Either way, I’m feeling inspired. In my last post, which was also my first post, I successfully conquered my fear of blogging by following my inner Nike spirit and “just doing it”.
Now I’m on a mission; I have a purpose. I am the self-proclaimed Get it Real Guy with the dot com to prove it. I’ve decided to turn this blog into a no bulls**t zone. I know it’s only my second post, but as a child of the 60s, I ‘m entitled to do what ever I want—at least within these four virtual walls. So if I want to switch gears, I’m gonna switch ‘em (see, no BS, just total honesty).
So, from here on out, this site is certified 100% bull free! Getitrealguy.com is your official free-range, grass-fed, no pesticide source for real-life rantings and ravings on any and all things past, present and future. As the tag line suggests, the idea here is for me to call out people and events each week (or more frequently if I feel the urge) that cause the needle on my crap-o-meter to spike in the red. I’ll attempt to offer up a slice of real-life perspective in response. My motto is: I may not always get it right, but at least I’ll get it real. I’d really like to make this as interactive an experience as possible, which means I’m counting on you to share your comments and feedback. I’ll try to keep the Comment Police in check. I believe we are all adults here—right?
So there you have it! I hope you’ll check back frequently for the latest “real guy rant”. My next post will be about taking responsibility for our personal health. Again, your comments are welcome.
Cheerio!
Richard
Filed under Ad Hoc by on Jun 4th, 2009. Comment.
Okay, I admit it. I’m a baby boomer and this is my virgin blog posting. Why, you may ask, has it taken this long for me to get onboard the Good Ship Blogoshpere? The answer is simple, really: I’m scared to death that no one aside from my closest friends and family members will bother to read this (I’m not all that confident even they will).
Until now, there has been a host of other reasons why I would have preferred to set my hair (what’s left of it, anyway) on fire rather than dare to share all this data that’s been accumulating in my brain for more than 50 years. I’ve been holding on to this notion that blogging is the ultimate act of narcissism (Andy Warhol’s fifteen minutes of fame on steroids). That may indeed be the case, but it’s no longer sufficient reason to stand in the wings. At the very least, I figure I can charm and engage readers with some deftly placed self-deprecation to offset any narcissistic leanings I may exhibit.
Then of course, there’s the issue of what to blog about. The solution to that problem revealed itself to me this past February when I became a casualty of the current economic cluster f**k. It was the third layoff I’d experienced in the last six years. As fond as I am of poking my eye with a screwdriver, I made a commitment to myself (and now you are my witnesses) for it to be the last time it happens.
Now, I’ve successfully re-invented myself before, as recently as 2004, when I went back to school as a “returning adult” to complete my undergraduate degree. I was fortunate to have a spouse that set a shining example by preceding me in getting her Bachelor degree a year earlier (she subsequently earned her Masters degree, leaving her proud partner in her academic wake).
If I’m being totally honest (sometimes painful, but always liberating), I’ve made a career out of re-inventing myself. It’s one of the many perks to which we baby boomers are entitled. In the “Life is a journey, not a destination” scheme of things, having the diversity of professional experiences I’ve had has made for a rich and rewarding career. I’ve learned so much from both successes and failures. Most importantly, I’ve acquired sufficient trust in my ability to communicate via the language of words, sound and visual images and in the process, reconnected with my true passion for helping people realize their full potential through lifelong learning.
At this leg of my journey, it’s all about conquering fears and pursuing passions. I’m back in touch with my entrepreneurial roots. I’ve started a new business called REAL (Real-life Experience in Academic Learning) I’m blogging and Facebooking and Tweeting and I’m LinkedIn. My new Website is being developed as I write this posting and is slated to go live in mid-June. Feel free to invite a few hundred of your best friends and join me on any or all of these sites. I am committed to posting engaging and relevant content that consistently gets it real (hey, great name for a blog).
So listen up all you children of the boom. The time has come for us to claim our rightful place in the blogoshpere. When it comes to self-indulgence, what do we have to fear? Hasn’t it always been about us? We’re the “tuned-in” generation that brought “Power to the People”, tripped on LSD and the hems of our bell-bottoms and “made a groovy kind of love”. We gave birth to the new me generation, who in turn, gave rise to the new media revolution. We taught the world to sing in perfect harmony while tossing back an ice-cold glass of the Real Thing.
If I can do this, so can you. Keep it groovy.
Cheerio,
Richard
Filed under Baby Boomer by on May 26th, 2009. 1 Comment.
